A life lesson that I’ve learned much too late is that avoidance creates a lot more suffering than what would occur if I had faced the issue at the beginning. It is making me sick.
Avoiding those wounds, the trauma, the lies, or even the belief systems inside of us can lead to physical, psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual damage.
There’s a spectrum, of course.
Avoidance might look like constantly being glued to your phone, or binge-watching shows because it provides you an escape.
Or avoidance might have turned into full blown addiction that started all because you needed something to numb the pain inside.
It might be that you are distracted enough to ignore what’s trying to grab your attention inside of you.
It all makes sense. I know the pain some of us feel is so intense, we’re afraid that if we feel it, it could swallow us whole and we’d never be able to breathe again.
Unfortunately, the avoiding behaviors can end up being more destructive and painful than the actual wound itself.
So we avoid. And then we avoid some more.
If anyone reads this, I don’t know what you are avoiding, or what you are shoving deep down, but I bet if you stopped for a minute to notice it, you would know right away what it is.
I don’t know what you need. Maybe you need to go to a professional to work through it. Maybe you need to pray about it or say it out loud to a trusted friend.
Maybe you can start by simply admitting to yourself that it’s there … and start to imagine the time, energy, and space you’d get back if you didn’t need to spend it on avoidance.
If there’s something in you that says, “it was too long ago – I should be over it”, or “I could never say that out loud”, or “Acknowledging what’s inside isn’t going to help me”, please consider that these thoughts are coming from a part of you who wants, desperately, for you to never think about these things. In the darkness is where it will spread and grow and continue to wreak havoc.
Avoidance will never lead us to freedom. But acknowledging our pain will. May all that’s hidden come to light so that we can just be well, and experience life in a way that we no longer need to avoid, but can actually experience.
🦋
Her Complex Musings 