Symphony

Sometimes it’s hard to breathe
All these thoughts are shouting at me
Trying to bring me to my knees
And it’s overwhelming
Darkness echoes all around
Feels like everything is crashing down
Still I know where my hope is found
It’s in You.

You say You’re working everything for my good and I believe every word

‘Cause even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You are writing a symphony

Tune my heart to Your beat
Let me be Your melody
Even when I cannot see.
You orchestrate it
Even when the darkness surrounds
You’ll never let me drown
I know that my hope is found
In the name of Jesus.

And even in the madness, there is peace
Drowning out the voices all around me
Through all of this chaos
You are writing a symphony.

I want to truly know if You compose beautiful music though
From all my unruly notes.
The distance is dissonance.  

You erased the scales from my eyes
Then played the scale of my life
Chaos played out with chords in accord
With the source prevailing through strife.

I’ve tasted suffering
I’ve been embraced by the painful buffering
I’ve been bound by doubts, so loud right now
But a melody is made when you play these rusty keys.
So we all gotta get pressed
And tuned up like instruments
I know life’s tempo is set
So I must remember this …

That even in the madness, there is peace Drowning out the voices all around me Through all of this chaos you are writing a symphony

A symphony.

Author Unknown

Do You Have An Anchor In Your Toolbox?

Sometimes I need to be reminded of things that are outside of this particular moment. I get so caught up in what I’m feeling right now or I get stuck in a memory loop, where I have one specific flashback that plays repeatedly, consuming me … I forget that I have an entire life outside of this place where I’m stuck. That’s where I have been discovering that any type of visual reminder, of a positive moment, helps me to become grounded. I have added a few videos and pictures to a folder on my phone and I’ve been sitting here in my bathroom, watching the videos on repeat.

This one shows a moment from this summer that has stayed with me very vividly. The way I felt in that moment was something I became very mindful of so I’m guessing that’s why I can feel it to be so real. I had been walking the beach near my house and my 2 dogs were with me. We’d had 2 days of rain so they were super happy to be outside and get to run around. When I stopped I took in all of my surroundings and I felt such an incredible warm feeling run through the center of my chest. Everything in that moment bordered on perfection. The direction of the sun, the temperature, the light breeze in my hair, the warmth from the sun shining down on my face, my dogs barking after each other as they zoom past me to chase each other through the salt water …

There are always things that you can cling to in moments of difficulty that can serve as an anchor. You might have one specific thing or many different ones. Whatever the case might be, use them. If you have to watch a 17 second video 29 times in a row to get the trembling in your bones to stop, then do it. You so deserve to be reminded of these moments of joy when the weight of depression is trying to crush you.

Having achors to keep you grounded is a great tool to have in your toolbox. One of my go-to skills.

Just sayin’.