Tag: friendship

Grief Is Like Glitter

A Girl In A Complex World
Ashley and I

We don’t always get to choose who we get to love or who it is we’re going to lose, or what breaks our hearts in two … but ya know, no one really dies if the love remains, because nothing that dies really goes away.

Grief is just like glitter. It’s hard to brush away. In the light, it still shimmers, just like it was yesterday. It falls like confetti. All of the memories explode like a hand grenade. It’s sweet, and it’s bitter. So you see, grief, it’s like glitter. And oh, what a mess it makes.

All the hurt and the rage, the what ifs and the prayers on the hardest days. You accept what you can’t change. Some people leave life early, and there are others who get to stay. And our hearts, they burst just like fireworks at the end of the parade.

Grief is definitely like glitter. It’s so friggin’ hard to brush away. Sometimes, like today, it still shimmers like it was yesterday … falling all around me, just like confetti …

And what a mess it makes.

What I wouldn’t give to hug you just one more time …

He Heard Me

A Girl In A Complex World
June 14th, 2024

Yesterday evening was rough. Anxiety had been raging through my body all day and my mood was all over the place. I was pretty discouraged. But it was a beautiful evening and I had been out in the garden. My pain level was quite high and I was close to tears. I sat back in my chair on the patio and I was looking up at the sky. Talking to God, I was telling Him how I could really use a dose of encouragement.

There was a notification on my phone and it was a pastor friend of mine. We began chatting and I shared a bit of what was going on. In between texts I was resting my head against the back of the chair, looking up at the sky. I noticed a long white jet trail stretching out above me. And when I looked closer I saw another trail beginning. I watched the jet make it’s way across the sky, soaking up the beauty of the evening sunset.

I’ve seen many jets in my lifetime, flying high in the sky, but what I witnessed yesterday was like a personal sign from God. The thought came to me … beauty still remains, you just need to look closer. It moved me to tears. The colors of the sky at that precise moment along with the fresh jet streams running above me were such a sight to behold.

I was reminded, in more ways than one, that I am not alone even though it felt that way yesterday evening. I was reminded that in the midst of struggle, beauty remains. Between the words coming to me from Linda and the view stretching across the sky above me, I was encouraged.
Which is what I asked for.

It felt nice to be seen and heard.

🦋

On That Day

A Girl In A Complex World
Ashley (left) and Me (right)

I wondered why the clocks didn’t stop
On that day.
My world stopped spinning
When I walked into the bathroom and found you submerged in a bathtub full of bloody water.
I wondered how the rest of the world could keep going
Without you here.
You took a piece of me with you
On that day.
But I forgive you.
I’d forgive you a million times over if it would bring you back to me.

Ashley

2 Dogs, One Chair

A Girl In A Complex World

We have this chair in our kitchen, that sits behind our table, in front of the window. We call it the dogs’ chair. It was put in that spot specifically for them. From the chair they can see the beach and watch the occasional person out for a walk. They see the front of the house. The patio. In order for someone to come to the door they have to walk past that window. They also have full view of our driveway.

They can watch the birds when they land on the railing. Soon I will put the bird feeder out, that attaches to the outside of the window. It’s one of my favorite things. To be on the inside and watching the various little birds eating from it is a true privilege

I was just going through and deleting pictures from my phone and came across these from last month. I walked into the kitchen and this is how they were sitting. I’m assuming Buddy had wanted to sit in the chair but Zoey was just too dang comfortable to move. So she didn’t. Guess Buddy got impatient with her and decided to sit there, no matter what.

I admire Zoey (yellow lab). She is a great, big sister. So much patience! Because I highly doubt that I’d just stay there if someone came and sat on me!

🐾