In case no one has told you yet today, let me to be the first to say, “You really are doing enough.”
You are here. Breathe in everything you have experienced these past few weeks. Everything that brought you to this moment.
You are choosing to be intentional about your healing journey.
And your choice is enough.
This day … this moment … may not look like any of us thought it would look or how we wish things would be going … but I want to invite you to gently consider the truth that you are doing your best to do your best, and your best is good enough.
Sometimes I need to be reminded of things that are outside of this particular moment. I get so caught up in what I’m feeling rightnow or I get stuck in a memory loop, where I have one specific flashback that plays repeatedly, consuming me … I forget that I have an entire life outside of this place where I’m stuck. That’s where I have been discovering that any type of visual reminder, of a positive moment, helps me to become grounded. I have added a few videos and pictures to a folder on my phone and I’ve been sitting here in my bathroom, watching the videos on repeat.
This one shows a moment from this summer that has stayed with me very vividly. The way I felt in that moment was something I became very mindful of so I’m guessing that’s why I can feel it to be so real. I had been walking the beach near my house and my 2 dogs were with me. We’d had 2 days of rain so they were super happy to be outside and get to run around. When I stopped I took in all of my surroundings and I felt such an incredible warm feeling run through the center of my chest. Everything in that moment bordered on perfection. The direction of the sun, the temperature, the light breeze in my hair, the warmth from the sun shining down on my face, my dogs barking after each other as they zoom past me to chase each other through the salt water …
There are always things that you can cling to in moments of difficulty that can serve as an anchor. You might have one specific thing or many different ones. Whatever the case might be, use them. If you have to watch a 17 second video 29 times in a row to get the trembling in your bones to stop, then do it. You so deserve to be reminded of these moments of joy when the weight of depression is trying to crush you.
Having achors to keep you grounded is a great tool to have in your toolbox. One of my go-to skills.
You must understand that sometimes there will be days that you’re not in the mood to talk to anyone, even if it’s your family and your closest friends.
You will want to ignore talking in person, on phone calls, on text msgs, even on social media.
Not because you don’t care and not because you’re in a bad mood either but because sometimes your mind and body will just crave silence. Sometimes, your soul will need silence for you to figure things out.
I want you to know that if you find yourself spacing out and distancing yourself from everyone it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad or mean person. You’re a human and it’s okay if you have a meltdown. Life can be a lot and sometimes it just becomes too much. You don’t owe anyone any explanations for choosing to prioritize what your soul needs and deserves.
Do what you have to do to reset and recharge then get back up and go again.
Nothing fills me with gratitude any more than moments like this. I’ve learned a lot of different lessons in my lifetime yet its always the simple things that I keep going back to. You can strive for all the fame and fortune humanly possible but the moments you spend with the ones who matter most to you will forever be the most valuable things one could ever accumulate in their lifetime. This has become exceedingly evident to me over the past year. Appreciate where you are and what you have b/c in a split second everything can change.
Her Complex Musings 
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