Tag: my truth

The first time I thought about taking my own life I was 14. The first time I harmed myself I was 10. This is the reality of a 20 year battle with my health and truthfully, I’m still fighting.

I’ve struggled with being different my entire life. My insecurities have pushed me so far that I lost all value of my life. Sometimes I get a glimpse of what freedom looks like without feeling the guilt and shame for being different, but that’s all it is, a glimpse. I know that being different is a part of what makes me who I am. But the struggle to actually appreciate that is definitely real.

I don’t claim to live a life free of pain and frustration or even sickness. But I have grown a lot. My heaviness now coexists with a will to fight, and the fighter in me will have the final word.

Every day that I wake up is proof that I’m still fighting. Every hour that I don’t engage in self harm as a means of coping means that I’m still fighting. Every minute that I choose to speak truth even when my mind is screaming lies is proof that I’m fighting. But also, when I have a setback, it’s yet another chance for me to fight … again.

My reality includes a list of diagnoses that include mental illness and chronic pain, AND my reality is that I’m a complex girl who is the epitome of different, who is CHOOSING life. Everyday. And I promise you, no matter what it is that breaks you, hurts you, and makes you feel like giving up – your life is worth choosing, too.