Tag: personal growth

Your Best Is Good Enough

A Girl In A Complex World

In case no one has told you yet today, let me to be the first to say, “You really are doing enough.”  

You are here. Breathe in everything you have experienced these past few weeks. Everything that brought you to this moment.

You are choosing to be intentional about your healing journey.

And your choice is enough. 

This day … this moment … may not look like any of us thought it would look or how we wish things would be going … but I want to invite you to gently consider the truth that you are doing your best to do your best, and your best is good enough.

Choosing Life

A Girl In A Complex World

The first time I thought about taking my own life I was 14. The first time I harmed myself I was 10. This is the reality of a 20 year battle with my health and truthfully, I’m still fighting.

I’ve struggled with being different my entire life. My insecurities have pushed me so far that I lost all value of my life. Sometimes I get a glimpse of what freedom looks like without feeling the guilt and shame for being different, but that’s all it is, a glimpse. I know that being different is a part of what makes me who I am. But the struggle to actually appreciate that is definitely real.

I don’t claim to live a life free of pain and frustration or even sickness. But I have grown a lot. My heaviness now coexists with a will to fight, and the fighter in me will have the final word.

Every day that I wake up is proof that I’m still fighting. Every hour that I don’t engage in self harm as a means of coping means that I’m still fighting. Every minute that I choose to speak truth even when my mind is screaming lies is proof that I’m fighting. But also, when I have a setback, it’s yet another chance for me to fight … again.

My reality includes a list of diagnoses that include mental illness and chronic pain, AND my reality is that I’m a complex girl who is the epitome of different, who is CHOOSING life. Everyday. And I promise you, no matter what it is that breaks you, hurts you, and makes you feel like giving up – your life is worth choosing, too.

The Fighter Inside Of You

A Girl In A Complex World

People don’t realize how much courage it takes to keep yourself from sinking into the dark pit of self hatred and negativity. To mentally remove yourself from a painful situation. To pick up all of your pieces from the ground, trusting that this process will eventually heal your wounds.

I know you’re feeling drained and exhausted right now, but you have to keep believing that things are going to get better.

I know you’re soul is tired, you’re mentally drained, and emotionally you feel broken, but the fact that you’re still breathing says a lot about that fighter inside of you. She’s still in there.

You’re allowed to be tired, but you must learn how to rest without giving up. You’re a work in progress and you have a future waiting for you.

So please hold on for just a little bit longer. I know you can do this!

Reset and Recharge

A Girl In A Complex World

You must understand that sometimes there will be days that you’re not in the mood to talk to anyone, even if it’s your family and your closest friends.

You will want to ignore talking in person, on phone calls, on text msgs, even on social media.

Not because you don’t care and not because you’re in a bad mood either but because sometimes your mind and body will just crave silence.
Sometimes, your soul will need silence for you to figure things out.

I want you to know that if you find yourself spacing out and distancing yourself from everyone it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad or mean person. You’re a human and it’s okay if you have a meltdown. Life can be a lot and sometimes it just becomes too much. You don’t owe anyone any explanations for choosing to prioritize what your soul needs and deserves.

Do what you have to do to reset and recharge then get back up and go again.

We got this!

Accumulating Moments

A Girl In A Complex World

Nothing fills me with gratitude any more than moments like this. I’ve learned a lot of different lessons in my lifetime yet its always the simple things that I keep going back to. You can strive for all the fame and fortune humanly possible but the moments you spend with the ones who matter most to you will forever be the most valuable things one could ever accumulate in their lifetime. This has become exceedingly evident to me over the past year. Appreciate where you are and what you have b/c in a split second everything can change.

Who Am I?

A Girl In A Complex World

I have adapted most of my life. Constantly shifting from one persona to the next, always changing masks to meet the expectations of the current environment. I’ve always carried the belief that the less amount of ME that is brought to each situation, the better.

That belief system has been the cause of a tremendous amount of heartache. my addiction. I have been completely disconnected from any source of inner guidance, just moving from one moment to the next as quietly as possible, in an attempt to go unnoticed.

Today I saw this quote:

In order to be the same person privately, publicly and personally … you must get to know that person ALTOGETHER.

It stopped me in my tracks. I have no idea who I am. In a 24 hour period I have multiple masks that I wear. I always feel the need to hide myself and after doing it for so long I’ve lost contact with the person underneath.

If I could meet one person in the entire world, it would be … myself.